I have to grab onto something – psychotherapeutic “orienteering”?
I have to grab onto something – psychotherapeutic “orienteering”? It is difficult to go without a landmark, without some lighthouse, guiding star, system of values, someone or something to believe in and to hold onto. What is a person to do in this crazy, turbulent world when the lighthouses have gone dark?Even worse, when everywhere […]
Horizontal and vertical unconscious
Horizontal and vertical unconscious I came across a paper of mine on horizontal and vertical unconscious that I presented at a psychotherapy conference in Russia a year ago. In it, I presented that division and the idea that in my work with clients, I increasingly see vertical unconscious, a lack of connection in a person’s […]
Addiction framework
Addiction framework A person can be dependent on various things: drugs, alcohol, medications, sex, masturbation, pornography, food, sweets, salty foods, workaholism, power, authority, and other people… The list is long, and few can say they haven’t grappled with at least some addictions at some point in their lives. What is addiction? It’s an exaggeration […]
By manipulating others, one “fools” themselves
By manipulating others, one “fools” themselves Many people believe they are doing something good for themselves if they manage to manipulate others into doing what they want, to make things “go their way.” Manipulating others is the best way to “lead yourself thirsty across water…” What ends up being “our way” is far from satisfying […]
Power and pleasure do not go together
Power and pleasure do not go together The more power one seeks, the less pleasure he experiences. This may sound strange, but it is true. The feeling of power over others and pleasure are opposites. Why do so many people strive to gain power over others? Don’t they expect to find pleasure in it? They […]
Two pillars of mental health
Two pillars of mental health Everything I have learned about human mental health can be summarized in two supporting pillars: Orientation to live for oneself, not at the expense of others Orientation towards truth, not towards lies Emotional maturity rests on these two pillars, and all types of emotional problems arise from deficiencies in […]
Traumatic bonding to the abuser
Traumatic bonding to the abuser Can nations and groups of people become traumatically bonded to an abuser in the same way that individuals do in relationships? “Will Jack forgive me for hitting me?” The answer to this question, when it comes to smaller groups, is known. Such bonding has been termed Stockholm Syndrome, describing […]
Cleansing a biography
Cleansing a biography I don’t want to mystify this, but when I experience that several clients, in a short time frame, come to nearly same insigh, one that is fundamentally important for understanding their own behavioral patterns, I think of what Jung referred to as synchronicity. Independent events that cannot be causally explained by […]
The need of belonging to a group
The need of belonging to a group People have a need to feel they belong to someone or something, to a smaller or larger group. This can be family, friends, peer groups, political allies, professional circles, clubs, or nations… to have their own “crew.” This is normal, but it comes with a price. To […]
Depth fulfills/”Nervous as a butterfly”
Depth fulfills/”Nervous as a butterfly” If you seek a sense of fulfillment, do not look for it in the breadth of your activities, but in depth. Breadth excites, can be fun, but does not fulfill. For example, various posts on Facebook can entertain you, spark curiosity… but you will find fulfillment in delving into […]