Two pillars of mental health
Everything I have learned about human mental health can be summarized in two supporting pillars:
- Orientation to live for oneself, not at the expense of others
- Orientation towards truth, not towards lies
Emotional maturity rests on these two pillars, and all types of emotional problems arise from deficiencies in these foundations of identity and integrity. In psychoanalysis the first pillar is referred to separation and individuation, while the second pillar involves reality testing and healthy narcissism.
We are all born as parasites and egocentric beings. Maturity consists of overcoming these two tendencies. Parasitism develops into the ability for reciprocity, and childlike egocentrism and narcissism evolve into an orientation towards reality and mature, realistic self-esteem. This orientation “suits” children well because they are sweet little immature beings. In adults, these tendencies form the basis of psychopathology. If we do not develop towards individuation, we remain oriented towards manipulation, exploiting others, clinging to others, dependence, and power games. If we do not cultivate an orientation towards truth, reality, and mature self-evaluation of ourselves and others, we remain focused on building false “images” and narcissistic “colorful lies.”
The simple truth is this: if you wish to be mentally healthy, do not lie and do not exploit others (nor yourself). The further you stray from this simple truth, the greater the fool you become.